After my previous, somewhat
“controversial” post about ways in which men such as yourselves can raise
money, I've been encouraged to show you others avenues in which you can raise
funds necessary to survive in this world.
First job on offer, becoming a
night owl for an insomniac.
An Australian woman has revealed
on Gumtree that she is willing to pay someone £25 an hour to stand over her
while she sleeps, dressed as an owl. She feels that she can sleep much easier
when there is an owl-like figure leaning over her, a trait that can be tracked
far back to when she was a child, as she explained “I have always found great comfort in the idea that owls are
the natural lookouts of our world and so it would really help.” If you were to
take the job but refuse to wear the costume, ‘Susan’ as she is known will lower
the wage to a reasonable £22 an hour, but would still prefer if the employee
had two or three feathers sticking out of their head. As for dinner, Susan will
happy provide a muesli bar if you get hungry but would favour if you did not
eat it while stood above her.
So
overall, an easy job with good pay: shift work necessary, with three eight hour
shifts on offer. Potential to earn over 50k per year. Unfortunately for us, it
is unavailable unless you plan on travelling to Australia in the near future.
Next, we have practice that can
be found all over the world: A stand-in-liner.
Reports of this job being
practised can be found from all over Asia and Europe; however I’d like to focus
on recent American exploits of this. It’s pretty simple, stand in line for
however long it takes to complete the task set by your employer. The most
common stand-in-liners that can be found would be for awaiting the release of
Apple© products in the United States. The recent releases of the iPhone 5 and
the iPad 3 have lead many people to employ others at a rate of $10 an hour to
purchase it for them, pretty decent wages for someone who merely moves along
steadily after a few hours of waiting and listening to music.
However, this may not be the most viable line
of employment. Despite it feeling like every five minutes Apple© is releasing a
new version of their products, it still may not be enough to consistently house
and feed you.
Now, for those of you who can
barely get up for school, let alone for work.
Roisin Madigan landed her dream
job whilst studying in Birmingham. Although it only lasted for a month, she was
well taken care of financially. Roisin was chosen by a high end bed producer to
test 30 of their luxury mattresses every night, getting paid £1000 for every one
that she tested. Although she did have to review and write up on each test, as
well as continuing her studies, I'm sure the £30,000 placed in her back pocket
was good enough incentive to spend an extra half hour of her day with a pen in
her hand. This on top of having far more relaxing sleep than what she had
previously experienced as a student.
Finally, I am going to talk
about the boy who takes care of
quality control at a sweet factory in Derbyshire.
Harry Willsher, won the opportunity
after dazzling judges with his insightfully deep descriptions of his favourite
sweet, the good ol’ drumstick. Every three months this schoolboy was given the chance
to taste new recipes and products, giving his verdict on what he believed would
taste and sell better. As far as I can deduce, there was no pay for this job so
it would be a job built purely on your love for the sweet stuff. Saving up
for University may become slightly tougher than you’d imagined, and if young
Harry is still in employment with this group, I'm those braces he harboured
three years ago when this story was first published will be rendered useless.
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